1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,776 A thief! 4 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:47,650 You rascal! Are you trying to steal? 5 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,894 Officer! A robbery! [GUNSHOTS] 6 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,091 Can't you see I'm working? 7 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,451 I got you now! 8 00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:08,893 I'll break your arm! 9 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,899 Nobody has ever stolen anything, here. 10 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,218 Sir! You dropped this. 11 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:19,493 - It's yours, right? Goodbye. > A robbery! 12 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,489 Officer, shoot! Not her, shoot at the car! 13 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,658 - What? - Shoot! - That one? 14 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,851 Yes, at the car. 15 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,730 I missed it. 16 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,500 - Shoot! - Again? 17 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:07,292 - Dalmazio Siraghi? - Yes. - Your uncle Aliprando wants to see you. 18 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,491 Who is he? 19 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,697 Easy! Damn you. 20 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,531 Easy! 21 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,731 You sons of bitches! 22 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,811 Don't pull! 23 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:35,898 Calm down! I always wait for you when you piss. 24 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,356 When I piss, you create a ruckus! 25 00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:39,571 Excuse me 26 00:04:39,683 --> 00:04:41,266 - Yes? - I'm blind. 27 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,904 - I see. - I need to go to the toilet. 28 00:04:44,024 --> 00:04:46,015 Could you help me? 29 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,491 - What do you mean? - Could you watch my dog? 30 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:56,696 A guy from Barletta, he had no arms, he once asked me to, you know... 31 00:04:56,900 --> 00:05:02,100 Get it? ... Don't worry, I'll watch your dog. You can blindly trust me. 32 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:03,290 I'm sorry. 33 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,491 Watch the step. 34 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,291 There's another one. 35 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,491 I'll give you your dog. 36 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:19,213 - Here. - Thank you. - You're welcome. 37 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,411 Easy. 38 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,779 Those are proper dogs, not like you lot... Crap! 39 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,371 Mr. Blind! Mr. Blind! 40 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,891 Are you also deaf? There's been a mix-up... 41 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,298 Easy! There's only bread and tomatoes today. 42 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,491 Damn. 43 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,692 Stay calm, I'm not sharing! 44 00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:03,091 - Siraghi Amalio! Oh my lord! The blind man had to go to the toilet... 45 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:08,295 ...he asked me to watch the dog... - Your uncle wants to see you. 46 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,491 My uncle? 47 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:18,692 Easy! Which uncle is this? Aliprando Siraghi. 48 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,699 He must be from mom's side. 49 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:26,497 But I don't have any uncles! Who's this guy? Aliprando... 50 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:30,978 You bastard! You all do it on purpose! Go fetch it then! 51 00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:11,897 - Do you have lighters? - Shop opens at 8. Sorry. 52 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,091 Fuck you! 53 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,897 You won't pay if I get fined, would you? Competition is fierce, here! 54 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,331 [ALARM RINGS] Goddammit. 55 00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:41,095 There you go. Please come again. This is my turf. 56 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:46,090 I paid the concession. This is my turf. Thank you. 57 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,291 Goodbye! 58 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,091 Thank you! 59 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:56,497 - The competition! - Come on, boys! - No! 60 00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:00,694 This is our turf, we paid the concession fee. 61 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:08,776 Do you ever go to school? Illegals! 62 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,891 Mine! 63 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,289 It's full of mosquitoes. 64 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:35,690 Tissues, ice creams, sandwiches, lighters, lucky horns! 65 00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,459 1000 lire, please! 66 00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:40,652 - Egisto Siraghi? - Yes. - Your uncle wants to see you. 67 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,892 - I don't have any uncles! - Your uncle Aliprando. 68 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:47,690 Aliprando? Let me see. 69 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:51,495 "Aliprando Siraghi, Honorary Prince of Labour". No! 70 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,896 Slow down! 71 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:59,652 "Truffle guy"! Stop the car or I'll die! 72 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,692 - Would you like to see this? - Thank you. 73 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,331 - Siraghi! - Here! - Here I am. 74 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:13,892 Your uncle is waiting for you. Follow me. 75 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,491 After you. 76 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,892 - He said "your uncle". - The surname is Siraghi. 77 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,658 - I'm Egisto Siraghi 78 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:27,721 - I'm Dalmazio Siraghi. - I'm Amalio Siraghi. 79 00:10:27,802 --> 00:10:29,288 So we're related! 80 00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:32,975 Your mom owns that greengrocer shop... 81 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,298 ... In Milan, Via Torino? - No, in Via Procaccini. - Yes. 82 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:44,099 - You mom was from Mola Di Bari. - Yes. She was a maid in Barletta. 83 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:48,336 May we... ? 84 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,369 Hello? Good morning. 85 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,138 Please. 86 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,969 Please, be seated. 87 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,891 Sit down. 88 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,131 Quick! 89 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:42,458 Egisto, Amalio, Dalmazio... My dear nephews! 90 00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:48,098 We haven't met before, but you three are my only descendents. 91 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:53,500 Three poor excuses of a man, three derelict wretches... 92 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,897 ... hopelessly condemned to eternal poverty. 93 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,536 But I, your uncle Aliprando... 94 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:06,576 ... will make you rich, like me. Look around. 95 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:13,698 What you see is the fruit of years of hard work, 96 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:19,896 which I can't keep on doing, due to unfortunate circumstances. 97 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:29,257 So I decided to employ you as business partners. Happy? 98 00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:33,613 - Well... yes. - But what should we do? 99 00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,334 Because we don't... 100 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,540 - Pardon? - Stealing. 101 00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:46,098 - Taking stuff away? - You think you can get rich... 102 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:51,295 ...by staying honest? Are you honest? - I am, they... 103 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:55,452 - Are you rich? - No. Really, I... 104 00:12:55,660 --> 00:13:01,690 And you have no hope of ever being rich. I'll teach you the best job in the world... 105 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:06,610 ... it can yield big, tax-free profits without any risk. 106 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,975 Excuse me, I'm familiar with it. I'm a security guard. 107 00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:19,894 I'm sorry, Uncle, but I think there are risks to this job. 108 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,492 No! Because you're not born a thief. You become one. 109 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,898 With method, dedication, and professionalism. 110 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:33,651 So I decided I would teach you the tricks of the trade. Agreed? 111 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,295 We would agree, but... [CONFUSED VOICES] 112 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:43,289 Please, speak one at a time. 113 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:54,889 (barese dialect) We were thinking, honestly speaking... 114 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,893 Should I translate what he just said? 115 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:01,456 In Italian. And clearly spoken. 116 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,220 You have to CLEARLYSPOKE. 117 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:08,974 So... dear uncle, clearly speaking, 118 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:13,253 I think we all agree. - Good! 119 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:17,693 But when are we supposed to begin... 120 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:21,052 ...this.... this job? 121 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:27,529 After an adequate training period, of course. Nero! 122 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:33,895 You have a month to turn these three human carcasses... 123 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:37,297 ... into perfect crime professionals! 124 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:44,213 Agile, quick, brave, efficient! Three true thieves! 125 00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:49,694 That's the window for the apartment you need to rob. 126 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:54,690 You need to use grappling hooks. Let's start with... 127 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:59,098 Take a step forward to volunteer. 128 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,660 Good! Come on! 129 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,370 Go, Egisto! 130 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:31,373 I can't stop! Stop me! 131 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,891 > It hurts! 132 00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:05,251 I did it! 133 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,695 Next test is climbing down a rope from a window. 134 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:17,938 Take a step forward to volunteer. 135 00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:21,171 - Over there! - Where? 136 00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,293 Good! But he always volunteers. 137 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,492 They do it on purpose! I go here and they... 138 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:36,699 Come on, Amalio! Remember, climb down very slowly. 139 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,858 - Slowly? - Yes 140 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,889 I said slowly! 141 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,620 How are you doing? 142 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,897 You were in my... trajectory... 143 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:10,537 I'll move. I'm sorry! Please be.. I'm sorry. 144 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:33,090 I threw it... it disappeared. Boom! You see? 145 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,496 I'm not that familiar with it. 146 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,691 I'm going. 147 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,891 Again? 148 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,369 All right. Throw! 149 00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:55,499 You were there... I'm sorry. Please be patient. 150 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,891 I'm throwing it, then. 151 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,413 [KNOCK ON DOOR] Who is it? 152 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,491 So, Egisto... 153 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:57,497 - You're connected to 800 Volts. - Why? 154 00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:02,695 For your public transportation pick-pocketing test. 155 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:06,689 Any contact with a sensitive spot on the mannequin... 156 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,894 ... will cause an electric discharge. Look. 157 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,530 - Are you mad? - Brace yourself! 158 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,491 It's the usual daily grind! 159 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,787 Look! I did it! 160 00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:47,657 Well done, Egisto! You've got a velvet hand! 161 00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:51,660 Hold on tighter to your wallet next time! 162 00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:08,140 Amalio, are you ready for the interrogation test? 163 00:20:08,221 --> 00:20:10,293 Yes. 164 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:13,697 You did a hit with Giovanni. 165 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:18,895 - Who's Giovanni? I don't know him. - It's a made up name, we're simulating. 166 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,433 - Oh! simulating! 167 00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:24,424 The police caught you and you're being interrogated 168 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,494 - While simulating, right? - Yes. I'll be the police. 169 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:34,173 You must not name Giovanni, whatever I do to you. 170 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,691 Hey! Let's level with each other here. 171 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,938 Let's look at each other's face. What does it mean? 172 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:45,498 You have this physique... they say that people of color... 173 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:50,490 - I wouldn't want... - Speak, you bastard! Who do you work with? 174 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,691 No! 175 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,737 Who was there with you? 176 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,691 Who was there with you? 177 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,730 Well done. Congratulations. 178 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:23,895 - You've resisted. - You almost killed me! 179 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:28,617 I would have never named Giovanni. 180 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,291 You fell for it! 181 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,777 I make bastards like you spit out their teeth! 182 00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,976 Take the rifle! 183 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:14,416 Load! Aim! 184 00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:18,131 Fire! 185 00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:25,892 Quick! Hide everything. 186 00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,452 - Mine, mine! - Mine, mine, mine! 187 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:39,492 Careful with the plane now. Fire! 188 00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:07,894 My dear boys, you passed all the tests. 189 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,092 I am proud to inform you, 190 00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:15,294 that starting today, you are certified thieves. 191 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:20,893 And thus, my business partners! Congratulations! Well done! 192 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:27,619 Thank you, uncle. We need to talk about a delicate topic. 193 00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:31,171 - We... - You're right, the money. 194 00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:35,374 We'll deposit the proceedings from our burglaries in a shared account... 195 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:39,699 ... and we'll split it equally at the end of the year. 196 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:44,337 Excuse me, uncle. We are four people, so you mean 25% each? 197 00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:49,694 No, I said equally. 50% to me... 198 00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:53,495 ... and the other 50% split among you three. 199 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,931 - I'm sorry, but... you're a THIE-- - Excuse me? 200 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:04,893 He meant to say that we don't know how much we'll make from this job. 201 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:10,129 That depends on you. If you apply method and determination... 202 00:24:10,332 --> 00:24:13,830 ... we could reach a yearly revenue of 5 billion. 203 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,361 Well... 204 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:19,016 Five billions? When do we start? 205 00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:22,258 Tonight. Let's synchronize our watches. 206 00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:27,136 - What time do you have? - 9:40 - 10:20 - Mine's dead. 207 00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:57,692 I'll set up the alarm, in case of thieves. 208 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,291 Who's got the keys? 209 00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:12,013 [POLICE SIREN] 210 00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,894 Our tip was right, they're robbing the shop. 211 00:28:02,300 --> 00:28:07,295 What the fuck, why always me? This is a mannequin too! 212 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:11,494 - I'm not a mannequin! - This one, too. Let's surrender! 213 00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:14,055 Hands up! 214 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,335 > See you soon. - And your sister! 215 00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:31,094 - Thank you for the inhumane treatment. - How much money do we have? 216 00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:33,291 Only 10,000 lire. 217 00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:38,171 Where do we go? 218 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,891 Oh my god, it's Uncle! 219 00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:49,300 - He's pissed off. - Of course he is. What will you do? 220 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:55,815 We need to face the situation with dignity. Come on. 221 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:20,093 We did nothing wrong! It's his fault! 222 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:25,295 There must have been a son of a bitch that snitched on us. 223 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:29,209 - If I see him, I'm gonna f-- - It was me, my dears. 224 00:29:29,420 --> 00:29:32,890 Prison time hardens you. It forges, it tempers you. 225 00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:37,890 It's a necessary experience, just showing you how hard it is. 226 00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:42,218 In the future, you'll do whatever you can to avoid it. 227 00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:45,299 [CONFUSED VOICES] 228 00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:49,289 Please! One at a time! 229 00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,572 Just one of you speak, please. But clearly. 230 00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:58,495 - Uncle! - Aliprando! FUCK YOU! 231 00:29:58,700 --> 00:30:03,217 Truffle guy, pull over! Stop! Let us out. 232 00:30:03,420 --> 00:30:08,096 Stop here. Let's get off, boys. My van is near by. 233 00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:12,692 - We'll need it to get on from now. - Don't be like that! 234 00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:15,210 Let's go. 235 00:30:15,420 --> 00:30:18,890 What happened, boys? Did you get offended? 236 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:22,092 Get back in the car. 237 00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:26,294 I'll bring you to your dear uncle's house, let's go! 238 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:30,697 We decided we want to make an honest living. 239 00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:35,019 Your criminal record is tainted now. 240 00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,811 - No! - No! - No! 241 00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:47,411 Go, Nero. 242 00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:59,292 Welcome back, my dears! 243 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:03,698 I was certain you would be back, I was waiting for you. 244 00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:08,531 Now get some dinner, go rest, and we'll start again tomorrow. 245 00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:13,291 A psychological trait you can exploit is fear of death. 246 00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:19,496 It's an infallible leverage. It will give you great results. 247 00:34:19,700 --> 00:34:23,091 I'm a scrupulous reader of the news, 248 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:27,214 and I found out that a rich farmer from Caserta... 249 00:34:27,420 --> 00:34:32,733 ... has been admitted at the Salus clinic for a routine operation. 250 00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:45,291 - Do you want to confess, son, before...? - Before what? 251 00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:49,971 Before going to heaven. Death comes and takes you away. 252 00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:52,296 Death? 253 00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,492 [WHISPERS IN FAKE LATIN] 254 00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:07,897 [WHISPERS] What? 255 00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:12,458 - Lucky you, son, you're leaving us. - I'm leaving? 256 00:35:16,300 --> 00:35:19,531 [WHISPERS IN FAKE LATIN] 257 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,291 Bye. 258 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,497 Nurse! Nurse! 259 00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,492 Sister, what is happening? 260 00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:37,969 I came for an appendicitis and now they give me my last rites! 261 00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:42,378 - I'm so sorry, but the tests... - What do they say? 262 00:35:43,492 --> 00:35:44,857 Two hours. 263 00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:49,076 Oh, my Lord! Isn't there a cure? I want to live! 264 00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:53,094 Come to think of it, there is a remedy. 265 00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:56,494 We need to call Dr. Amalio Siraghi. 266 00:35:56,575 --> 00:35:58,853 Let's call him! 267 00:35:58,980 --> 00:36:03,736 The doctor is very busy. I know he's away now... 268 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:11,210 ...fox hunting. Plus, you'd need 40... 269 00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,457 - What? - 40 millions. 270 00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:17,096 All right, I will pay. I have my bank account. 271 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:21,498 In that case, the situation changes from this... 272 00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:23,020 ...to this. 273 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:33,894 I can never manage to finish a fox hunt! 274 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:38,094 You all did this when I was in Paris, and also that time in Nottingham! 275 00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:42,294 - Please Doctor, save me! - Here. Clinical record, please. 276 00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:54,053 Ahi, Ahi, Ahi! 277 00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:01,252 We need to hurry. Anesthesia. 278 00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:06,895 May God help you. 279 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,296 - He's a pessimist. - I'm in your hands... 280 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:14,290 - Just a little injection... - Don't put me in too much pain. - Ready? 281 00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:18,291 Hey! 282 00:37:32,300 --> 00:37:35,850 - How long is the operation? - Six hours. 283 00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:45,091 He's not waking up! 284 00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,891 Don't exaggerate. 285 00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:05,013 - Miracle! - The doctor has done a miracle! 286 00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:07,609 Six hours under the blade! 287 00:38:08,700 --> 00:38:11,738 Do you feel better, son? 288 00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:17,490 I'm fine, just a little headache. 289 00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:21,898 It's because of... anesthesia. It's a new drug. 290 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:26,331 - You were born lucky. - It's true. 291 00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:29,689 - The check. - What? 292 00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:33,097 - The check! - Yes, in the drawer. 293 00:38:35,020 --> 00:38:39,378 - Who do I write it to? - Blank. - Blank! 294 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,089 - Praised be Jesus Christ. - Today and forever. 295 00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:49,860 - Here, Doctor. - Thank you. 296 00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:54,297 - How much did you agree upon? - Well... 40. 297 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:58,892 You know my fee is 80 millions! But that's all right. 298 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,289 - Doctor! - What is it? 299 00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:06,892 - I don't know how to thank you. - Me neither. You jolly old chap! 300 00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:16,860 What's going on? 301 00:39:17,032 --> 00:39:20,580 We're taking you to the operation room. 302 00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:22,691 Again?! 303 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:57,492 [INAUDIBLE VOICE] 304 00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:33,175 This is the pris-- The premises for sale. 305 00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:35,412 [Regina Coeli Prison in Rome] What's your name? Mister... 306 00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,095 - Parson Robert Junior. - Fuck... Junior. 307 00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:42,691 Do you see those grilles in front of the windows? 308 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:46,097 "Windows." They're for security. 309 00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:48,963 I spent 1,750,000 dollars to have them. 310 00:41:49,044 --> 00:41:50,374 It's important. 311 00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:54,698 Security... you Americans are fairly messed up right now, as we are. 312 00:41:54,900 --> 00:41:58,894 - Burglars won't get in. - No, the burglars are already... 313 00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:03,458 If they're about to go in, they will be able to... 314 00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:09,417 ... but they won't be able to come out. - They're trapped. - Yes, in a sense. 315 00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:12,493 Is the building occupied? 316 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:16,694 Yes. It would cost a billion dollars otherwise. 317 00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:21,815 But the folks in there can't wait to move out. 318 00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,458 - Proietti! - I'm here! 319 00:42:28,660 --> 00:42:34,372 - You're out in three days! - I'm so glad! Thank you! 320 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:41,097 - Arturo! - I'm here. - Can you hear me? 321 00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:45,498 - You'll be out in 2 or 3 days! - I need to do another 15 years! 322 00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:49,295 He said he needs to stay another 15 years. 323 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:53,494 No, he said: "I've been here 15 years, what do I have to do?" 324 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:55,896 I'll say that he needs to move out. 325 00:42:56,100 --> 00:43:00,697 - I’ll transfer you to Rebibbia! < Thanks! 326 00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:02,891 See? They're happy. 327 00:43:03,020 --> 00:43:09,016 If you give me half of the sum we'll agree upon tomorrow... 328 00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:12,690 200-300,000 dollars, You'll get it sooner! - Check? 329 00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:15,892 No checks, or we'll end up in there. 330 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,489 Do you have any cash? 331 00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:23,092 - Not much, just $5,000 - They'll do fine. 332 00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:28,500 I'll take your watch, so tomorrow I'll show your competition that you... 333 00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:31,692 - What your name? - Parson Robert Junior. 334 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:35,894 I'll show them that Junior gave me his watch first. 335 00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:39,456 - Will you give me a receipt? - Sure. Do you have a pen? 336 00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:44,289 - Is this gold? - Yes. - It doesn't work. I'll take this. 337 00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:48,733 - "I hereby receive from Mr. ..." - Parson Robert Junior. 338 00:43:50,020 --> 00:43:52,899 I'll just write "Junior". 339 00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:57,890 "$5000 and his watch." 340 00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:01,335 Signed, Mr. ... TATTARI 341 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,695 I'll tell you what. Do you see this map? 342 00:44:07,900 --> 00:44:11,973 Bring this to the notary tomorrow, with this spirit level. 343 00:44:12,180 --> 00:44:17,300 See you at 10:30 at the notary's. Now go do some shopping. 344 00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,969 - I have no cash. - Of course, you gave it all to me. 345 00:44:20,180 --> 00:44:24,299 I'll give you some Italian Lire, OK? 2-300,00 lire. Here. 346 00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:27,219 Actually, let's... 347 00:44:27,420 --> 00:44:30,173 Put your finger here. 348 00:44:30,380 --> 00:44:34,738 I'll take the last measurement. Loot down the middle. 349 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:39,491 Is this OK? 350 00:44:55,580 --> 00:44:59,096 So, do you want to give me your reports? 351 00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:02,497 - Yes, he wants to... - No, you. 352 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:06,295 - No, you! - Me? - Yes. 353 00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:12,291 So, after thinking for a bit... 354 00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:16,289 We are... I'm not sure you get our point. 355 00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:20,892 We're not used to this, we'd like to know... 356 00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:24,172 Uncle, we wanted to ask you for... 357 00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:28,692 Ask for anything, just not money. 358 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,894 You're not employees, you're part of the company. 359 00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:38,095 The deal was that we would split the profits at the end of the year. 360 00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,689 End of discussion. 361 00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:48,897 Hop! Hop! Hop! 362 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:51,296 We're training. It's good for us. 363 00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:55,494 Come to my office in 30 minutes. Business meeting. 364 00:46:04,260 --> 00:46:08,697 This girl's name is Marisa Padovan 365 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:12,894 She's a maid at the mansion you see behind her. 366 00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:17,298 It's owned by a banker, Mr. Martuccelli. He's filthy rich. 367 00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:19,969 Take a good look at her. 368 00:46:20,180 --> 00:46:21,932 OK. Nero, turn the lights on. 369 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:29,017 Did you get a good look? That mansion is full of silverware... 370 00:46:29,220 --> 00:46:34,215 ... valuables, precious paintings, jewelry and fur coats. 371 00:46:34,420 --> 00:46:38,095 A whole bunch of goodies. Every Thursday... 372 00:46:38,300 --> 00:46:43,613 ... Ms Padovan spends the afternoon at the Tevere d'Oro ballroom. 373 00:46:43,820 --> 00:46:51,500 One of you should court her, seduce her, and at the right moment... 374 00:46:51,700 --> 00:47:01,278 ... make a wax mold of the mansion's key. 375 00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:04,733 Which one of you should I send out? 376 00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:10,091 Move! 377 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:19,291 Hey, Wanna dance with me? 378 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:22,891 Come on! Wanna dance? Just one dance! 379 00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:26,491 - Leave me alone! - Come on! - Stop it! 380 00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:28,930 Go away, you're drunk! 381 00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:32,388 The lady doesn't want to dance, leave her alone. 382 00:48:32,469 --> 00:48:33,373 Or what? 383 00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,618 - I'll give you a black eye. Understood? - Oh yeah? 384 00:48:45,900 --> 00:48:47,891 May I? 385 00:49:04,940 --> 00:49:08,934 What's your name? I want to know... No, wait. I'll guess. 386 00:49:09,140 --> 00:49:13,691 - How can you guess? - Your name is... wait. 387 00:49:13,900 --> 00:49:17,495 Your name is... A, B, C, D, E, F, G... 388 00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:20,692 It starts with M. Your name is Marisa. 389 00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,097 - It is! - I'll tell you your last name. 390 00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:29,500 Your last name is... A, B, C, D, E, F, G... M... P... 391 00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:31,691 Padovan! 392 00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,894 - You're a wizard! - No, I'm Egisto. 393 00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:41,652 It's so hot in here. Let's get out. I have a hot "iron" outside. 394 00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:58,492 How beautiful! Is this an Argenta? 395 00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:02,091 No, it's a luxury car. It's a Rolls Royce. 396 00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:05,497 It costs 250 millions. 397 00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:10,171 - So you're rich. - Let's just say I'm filthy. 398 00:50:10,380 --> 00:50:14,089 - What are you doing? - I wanted to try out the electric seats. 399 00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:19,329 No, I wanted to overwhelm every sense of yours. 400 00:50:19,540 --> 00:50:22,419 - Here? Don't you have a house? - Yes. 401 00:50:22,620 --> 00:50:26,295 Of course. In Via Rosina 16. It's beautiful. 402 00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:32,690 It's a big house, with six bathrooms, six kitchenettes, six bedrooms... 403 00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:36,689 ... six kitchens... you're a babe! 404 00:50:36,900 --> 00:50:40,689 - Will you take me there? - I can't! 405 00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:46,293 - I can't explain why. - Are you embarrassed I'm a maid? 406 00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:49,492 Even if you were a spade, I couldn't take you there. 407 00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:52,692 But I want you now! Don't say no! 408 00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:56,370 You're so violent! You're so manly! 409 00:50:57,700 --> 00:51:00,499 You're so horny! 410 00:51:01,500 --> 00:51:04,891 My dear, that's the handbrake. 411 00:51:05,060 --> 00:51:08,291 (TV) Next up: "To Catch a Thief". 412 00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:11,652 Turn it off! I don't like documentaries. 413 00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:19,297 Uncle! What a woman! What a character! 414 00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:23,095 I'm in love, I'm crazy in love! 415 00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:25,291 The keys? 416 00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:30,892 What? No! Did you take the wax mold? 417 00:51:31,100 --> 00:51:35,173 - What mold? - The keys to the mansion! 418 00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:38,091 What an idiot! 419 00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:42,089 I was there... Touching here, touching there... 420 00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:46,089 - I touched her knee, then the shifter... - You're an idiot! 421 00:51:46,300 --> 00:51:52,091 A true thief never succumbs to desire. Go away! 422 00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:56,498 - If you'd met her, you'd change your mind. - I haven't met her. 423 00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:59,692 She's a fantastic woman. 424 00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:02,892 - If you'd met her... - Get out. 425 00:52:03,100 --> 00:52:06,889 If you'd met her... What a woman! 426 00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:09,535 - If you'd met her... - Nero! 427 00:52:11,700 --> 00:52:13,691 If you'd met her... 428 00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,291 Idiot. 429 00:52:41,900 --> 00:52:44,096 [CLICKING NOISE] 430 00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:20,054 - Marisa Padovan! - You also know my name? 431 00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:26,094 I see. While you were making love to my nephew... 432 00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:31,295 ... you took a wax mold of his keys. Well done! 433 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:37,212 - So this is a family of psychics. - I could call the police. 434 00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:39,889 No, please, don't do it! 435 00:53:40,060 --> 00:53:45,260 No? If I don't, what will you give me in return? 436 00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:09,094 That's enough. 437 00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:14,090 Thank you, but I'm paralyzed from the waist down. 438 00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:17,099 - What can I do for you, then? - A hit. 439 00:54:17,300 --> 00:54:19,291 What do you mean? 440 00:54:19,460 --> 00:54:20,894 A robbery! 441 00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:26,939 So... you're also a thief! 442 00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:30,895 I've dreamt of being part of a hit since I was a little girl. 443 00:54:31,100 --> 00:54:36,174 Calm down. Go home and get ready for Thursday. 444 00:54:36,380 --> 00:54:40,692 I can't wait! Can't we do it tomorrow? 445 00:54:40,900 --> 00:54:44,894 No, I need to study the details. I'm not an amateur. 446 00:54:45,100 --> 00:54:48,496 Also, my nephews will be at the beach, tomorrow. 447 00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,526 Nephews? At the beach? 448 00:54:50,607 --> 00:54:51,961 Yes... 449 00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:58,175 The changing room is over there, straight ahead. 450 00:54:58,380 --> 00:55:00,690 Straight ahead. 451 00:55:00,900 --> 00:55:03,540 Men with men, and women with men. 452 00:55:03,740 --> 00:55:06,300 - Is this guarded? - Of course. 453 00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:10,539 - I've got my wallet, my gold Rolex... - That's why we're here. 454 00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:13,732 We're from [garbled] Security of Paris. 455 00:55:13,940 --> 00:55:18,153 Actually, let me give you the keys to your box. 456 00:55:18,234 --> 00:55:19,419 Thanks 457 00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:21,491 One moment. 458 00:55:26,420 --> 00:55:31,699 Excuse me, Miss. If you lose this at sea, you'll end up blaming us. 459 00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:33,891 I'll keep it for you. 460 00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:36,495 51! 461 00:55:42,900 --> 00:55:47,178 - Go ahead! Stop, body search! - I don't have anything. 462 00:55:47,380 --> 00:55:51,499 This is a private beach. what if you're armed? Let's see. 463 00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:53,620 Stop it! 464 00:55:53,701 --> 00:55:58,570 Go on. Your hand grenades are disarmed. Next! 465 00:55:58,651 --> 00:56:01,120 - Ball! - Where? 466 00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:03,691 Curve ball! 467 00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:12,931 I wanted to kick a curve ball like Maradona, but... 468 00:56:13,140 --> 00:56:19,978 I'll give you the ball. Here. Goodbye. I'm going. 469 00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:30,373 - Excuse me. - Excuse my ass... Watch your... step... 470 00:56:38,300 --> 00:56:40,416 - I'm going. - Get in. 471 00:56:58,900 --> 00:57:02,780 - Stop! - My money! (effeminate voice) Thief! 472 00:57:02,980 --> 00:57:05,494 Faggot! 473 00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:08,089 [PHONE RINGS] 474 00:57:11,380 --> 00:57:13,894 Hello? 475 00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:17,889 Mr. Minozzi, It's the Luxembourg Embassy. 476 00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:20,091 I'll be right there. 477 00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:23,171 Hello? 478 00:57:23,252 --> 00:57:25,771 I'm from the Embassy. The grand-duke's daughter... 479 00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:29,894 ... duchess Katherine, is currently visiting Rome. 480 00:57:30,100 --> 00:57:33,616 She'd like to purchase some of your fur coats. 481 00:57:33,820 --> 00:57:38,451 We will organize a private show for her in our atelier. 482 00:57:38,660 --> 00:57:43,734 Thank you. Her secretary, the Count of Wanderwurstel will be accompanying her. 483 00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:47,894 Thank you, Mr. Minozzi. 484 00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:50,091 There you go. 485 00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:58,696 Please, start. 486 00:58:45,260 --> 00:58:48,935 - Is it not to your liking? - This? 487 00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:03,291 - Is it good? - Yes. 488 00:59:06,300 --> 00:59:08,769 - One more? - No, thank you. 489 00:59:13,060 --> 00:59:16,291 So, you and Egisto will go to the show... 490 00:59:16,500 --> 00:59:19,777 ... and you'll pretend to buy some fur coats. 491 00:59:19,980 --> 00:59:25,180 - Egisto, are you listening? - Ah! Yes, uncle! At your service! 492 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:31,494 I'll tell you what to do later. Ah, Nero! 493 00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:36,291 This is for you. 494 00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:44,258 - It's marvelous! - It belonged to my poor wife... 495 00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:47,293 ... but it will fit you splendidly. 496 00:59:49,180 --> 00:59:52,172 Don't tell me you're jealous of a paralyzed old man! 497 00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:58,051 What if a miracle happens? 498 01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:31,494 Excellent choice, Katherine. You have great taste. 499 01:00:31,700 --> 01:00:35,694 We live in a cold climate, so we need hair. Lots of hair. 500 01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:39,336 The more hair, the better! We'll take two. 501 01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:42,689 They're very expensive. 502 01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:44,891 Four, then. 503 01:01:12,180 --> 01:01:14,330 One wild mink. 504 01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:17,491 One Lynx. 505 01:01:18,420 --> 01:01:21,492 One white mink, Gardenia model... 506 01:01:21,700 --> 01:01:27,491 The duchess has chosen 19 furs for a total of 334 millions. 507 01:01:27,700 --> 01:01:30,135 - Shit! - Too much? - No! 508 01:01:30,340 --> 01:01:34,618 In our language, it means "what a steal!". 509 01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:39,974 Please deliver the items tomorrow at the embassy at 14:00. 510 01:01:40,180 --> 01:01:45,095 Our treasurer will provide you with payment in cash! 511 01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:47,291 With cash...ual greetings! 512 01:01:53,020 --> 01:01:55,580 - Shall we go? - Yes. 513 01:02:21,140 --> 01:02:25,293 Good Morning. I'm looking for the Passport office. 514 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:30,290 - Thank you! First floor, room 24. - Room 24, first floor. 515 01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:32,889 - You're very kind. - You're welcome. 516 01:02:33,100 --> 01:02:37,298 One more thing. I'm waiting for Mr. Minozzi. 517 01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:39,696 - Mr. Minozzi. - Yes. 518 01:02:39,900 --> 01:02:45,293 - My name is Francesco The Duchess. - Francesco The Duchess. 519 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:49,698 Call me when Mr. Minozzi arrives. I'll be upstairs. 520 01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:53,894 - OK - I'll be upstairs... - And I'll call you. 521 01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:59,493 - Repeat that. - Mr. The Duchess is expecting Mr. Minozzi. 522 01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:03,694 - Yes. - Thank you. You're welcome. Goodbye. 523 01:03:03,900 --> 01:03:06,892 - I'm in your hands! - Don't worry. 524 01:03:24,220 --> 01:03:27,212 Don't take out the fur coats just yet. 525 01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:37,494 - Good morning. I'm Mr. Minozzi. - You're looking for The Duchess. - Yes. 526 01:03:37,700 --> 01:03:41,375 - I'll call upstairs. Please, have a seat in the waiting room. 527 01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:46,573 Passport Office? 528 01:03:52,060 --> 01:03:54,700 Duchess, what a pleasure. 529 01:03:54,900 --> 01:03:57,892 - How are you? - Fine. - Did you bring everything? - Yes. 530 01:03:58,100 --> 01:04:01,252 - Even the really long furs? - Yes. - I can't wait to wear them! 531 01:04:01,460 --> 01:04:04,054 I'll have them brought here immediately. 532 01:04:04,260 --> 01:04:08,891 - No, no... - What? - Duchess, you know our motto. 533 01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:13,043 Our motto is: "Pay first, fur later". 534 01:04:13,124 --> 01:04:14,441 That's right. 535 01:04:14,597 --> 01:04:17,496 - Is the treasurer here? - Yes, over here. 536 01:04:17,577 --> 01:04:19,830 - Where will you put the money? - In my bag. 537 01:04:19,925 --> 01:04:22,994 - Over 300 millions? - It's safe. 538 01:04:23,100 --> 01:04:28,300 This is also a safe place, but a stranger might come in. 539 01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:32,494 - You know, thieves... I wouldn't trust it. - I've got my guards. 540 01:04:32,700 --> 01:04:35,692 - Call your guards, trust me! - What about the coats? 541 01:04:35,900 --> 01:04:39,495 Police is outside our door, day and night. 542 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:44,820 - It's not a problem? - Of course not. - Should we call them? - Let's go. 543 01:04:59,700 --> 01:05:02,010 Excuse me! Come here. 544 01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:07,889 - Do you wear the clothes you sell? - Of course. 545 01:05:08,100 --> 01:05:13,129 A nice sheepskin coat would suit you well. Let's go. 546 01:05:15,980 --> 01:05:19,689 - It's hot. - Very hot. - What a day! 547 01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:25,891 > Occupied - What? Mr. Minozzi is here. 548 01:05:26,100 --> 01:05:30,936 > One moment, I'm almost done. - He's counting 300 millions. 549 01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:34,622 I'll wait, cash in, and unload the coats. 550 01:05:34,703 --> 01:05:36,977 What a genius! 551 01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:42,698 I'll be going. All the best to you and your coats. Goodbye! 552 01:05:49,140 --> 01:05:52,132 [FLUSHING NOISE] 553 01:06:03,420 --> 01:06:05,457 Thief! Thief! 554 01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:16,491 > Police! 555 01:06:17,340 --> 01:06:20,378 Police, stop him! 556 01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:28,897 - Follow that van. - One moment. Calm down. 557 01:06:29,100 --> 01:06:33,378 All units, follow the car full of fur coats! 558 01:06:36,940 --> 01:06:39,932 - Hi, uncle. - Egisto, hi! 559 01:06:40,140 --> 01:06:44,896 - Help me trim the daisies. - Yes. - What's the matter? 560 01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:49,298 - I wanted to give you some good news. - What is it? 561 01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:52,936 Marisa and I are in love. We'd like to get married. 562 01:06:53,140 --> 01:06:57,338 - Absolutely not. - Why? - Because! 563 01:06:57,540 --> 01:07:00,182 If you get married, you'll want to spend every night with her. 564 01:07:00,207 --> 01:07:03,003 - Of course. - No! 565 01:07:03,180 --> 01:07:08,493 It's bad for you. It will cloud your reflexes, you won't be lucid. 566 01:07:08,700 --> 01:07:11,294 At the end of the year, you'll do what you want. 567 01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:14,777 Either you gave me your blessing, or I'm getting out of here! 568 01:07:14,980 --> 01:07:18,291 - Is this blackmail? - Yes. - So go get married. 569 01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:22,892 On the condition that you and Marisa don't see each other... 570 01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:28,937 ... until the end of the year. - I can't quite grasp the concept. 571 01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:31,893 - What does it mean? - No sexual intercourse. 572 01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:34,694 - Not even on the first night? - Especially on the first night! 573 01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:38,131 - Is this blackmail? - Yes. - Then I'll cut these! 574 01:07:38,340 --> 01:07:39,535 Your loss! 575 01:07:44,300 --> 01:07:49,295 Dearest Egisto and Marisa, you are here so that your love... 576 01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:53,892 ... may receive consecration before a minister of the Church. 577 01:07:54,100 --> 01:07:57,092 You are already consecrated with Baptism. 578 01:07:57,300 --> 01:08:00,292 Now Christ blesses you with the nuptial sacrament... 579 01:08:00,500 --> 01:08:04,573 ... so that you'll love each other of a faithful, endless love. 580 01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:16,330 (sings)O Virgin Mary! 581 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:21,656 O Merciful! 582 01:08:29,460 --> 01:08:34,694 Excuse me, sir. You're smoking during the ceremony... 583 01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:38,296 Please, keep smoking. 584 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,219 Do you have a cigarette? I'd like to smoke too. 585 01:08:41,420 --> 01:08:44,219 Mother of sorrow... 586 01:08:50,140 --> 01:08:56,136 Will you, Marisa, take Egisto to be your husband... 587 01:08:56,340 --> 01:09:00,891 ... under the rite of the Holy Roman Church? - Yes. 588 01:09:01,100 --> 01:09:06,698 Will you, Egisto, take Marisa to be your wife... 589 01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:10,495 ... under the rite of the Holy Roman Church? 590 01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:21,697 - Yes. He said yes. - Exchange your rings. 591 01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:31,291 They're cute, aren't they? 592 01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:36,051 You may kiss the bride. 593 01:09:58,700 --> 01:10:01,692 Nephews, I have gathered you here... 594 01:10:01,900 --> 01:10:06,736 ... because tomorrow marks the end of our fist year in business... 595 01:10:06,940 --> 01:10:10,695 ... and we will subsequently divide our profits. 596 01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:15,210 Uncle, can I say something? You are... I mean... 597 01:10:15,291 --> 01:10:16,686 I get it. 598 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:19,418 To award your hard work... 599 01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:24,217 I have studied and devised for you... the heist of the century! 600 01:10:24,420 --> 01:10:28,414 - Take a seat, please. - There? Yes, go ahead. 601 01:10:29,620 --> 01:10:31,611 Nero? 602 01:10:34,180 --> 01:10:37,696 This is the floor plan of the Van Cliff Jewelry store. 603 01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:42,610 It's impenetrable from the outside. The only weak spot is right here. 604 01:10:44,140 --> 01:10:46,416 - The jacks? - Yes, the toilet. 605 01:10:46,620 --> 01:10:50,978 You'll get in from exactly this spot. 606 01:10:51,180 --> 01:10:53,820 I'll tell you how later. 607 01:10:54,020 --> 01:10:59,777 But watch out: you need to go through the room without making any noise. 608 01:10:59,980 --> 01:11:04,611 You'll reach the vault, which contains valuables worth 5 billions... 609 01:11:04,820 --> 01:11:07,619 ... in utmost silence. 610 01:11:07,820 --> 01:11:10,619 Why do it like that? 611 01:11:10,820 --> 01:11:12,811 Nero? 612 01:11:16,980 --> 01:11:22,293 This is an exact replica of the complex sound-based alarm... 613 01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:24,730 ... that's fitted in the jewelry store. 614 01:11:24,940 --> 01:11:28,934 I'll give you a demonstration. Be quiet. 615 01:11:42,060 --> 01:11:46,054 [SNAPS FINGERS, ALARM RINGS] 616 01:11:48,540 --> 01:11:53,171 - All clear. Do you understand? - Yes. 617 01:11:53,380 --> 01:11:56,175 It's ear-splitting. 618 01:11:56,256 --> 01:11:59,775 It only takes a sound over 1 decibel and you'll be... 619 01:12:01,780 --> 01:12:05,304 Excuse me... What if it's over 2 decibels? 620 01:12:05,657 --> 01:12:07,250 So... 621 01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:12,819 To cut the bars in the vault without making noise... 622 01:12:13,020 --> 01:12:19,653 Come, Nero. I've ordered this silent laser from Germany. 623 01:12:19,780 --> 01:12:24,616 Once you breach the room, you'll get inside, again, very quietly, 624 01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:28,256 and all you'll have to do is open the safe. - That's it? 625 01:12:28,460 --> 01:12:32,169 - It's child's play, then! - No 626 01:12:32,380 --> 01:12:38,376 It's a specific model of door, practically impenetrable. 627 01:12:38,954 --> 01:12:42,577 Only one person in the world can crack it open. 628 01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:43,804 Who is it? 629 01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:48,655 (All) You? - Yes, me. 630 01:12:48,860 --> 01:12:53,775 But... excuse me, Miss... I mean, Mr. Uncle. 631 01:12:53,980 --> 01:12:59,373 Given your miserab-- your physical condition, you won't be able to come. 632 01:12:59,580 --> 01:13:03,574 But I will be there. 633 01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:30,613 Uncle, we're going into the manhole. 634 01:13:32,620 --> 01:13:36,773 Good. Proceed to the sewage conduit... 635 01:13:36,980 --> 01:13:40,769 ... marked by the letter A. 636 01:13:46,780 --> 01:13:48,771 Come on! 637 01:13:56,580 --> 01:14:00,574 ["JAWS" THEME] 638 01:14:16,060 --> 01:14:18,449 Get inside the tunnel now. 639 01:14:29,940 --> 01:14:35,116 - We're through, uncle. - Good. Commence demolition. 640 01:14:48,420 --> 01:14:50,775 How is it going? 641 01:14:50,980 --> 01:14:54,974 Very well, uncle. Turn on the laser. 642 01:14:57,700 --> 01:14:59,691 Fantastic! 643 01:15:29,820 --> 01:15:32,858 Watch out, security is coming. 644 01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:36,052 - Stop, security is here! - Ah! 645 01:15:45,460 --> 01:15:49,499 - Where are you going? - I need to go to the toilet. 646 01:16:16,100 --> 01:16:20,412 - Are you done? - My belly aches, now. 647 01:16:20,620 --> 01:16:23,260 I haven't gone for 3 days. 648 01:16:23,460 --> 01:16:25,929 We're late, let's go. 649 01:16:43,140 --> 01:16:46,735 - Everything clear? - Yes, don't worry. 650 01:16:51,860 --> 01:16:56,172 The guards have re-engaged the alarm. 651 01:16:56,380 --> 01:17:02,490 You can get into the store, but you must avoid any noise. 652 01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:08,139 You must work in absolute silence. Remember: absolute silence. 653 01:17:37,020 --> 01:17:42,971 Starting now, you have 80 seconds to open the safe. 654 01:17:43,180 --> 01:17:45,171 Go! 655 01:18:47,740 --> 01:18:49,731 Half a turn clockwise. 656 01:18:52,180 --> 01:18:55,172 A quarter turn counterclockwise. 657 01:18:59,700 --> 01:19:03,409 Another half-turn clockwise. 658 01:19:12,860 --> 01:19:17,172 Quarter turn counterclockwise. 659 01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:31,857 Stop! That's it. 660 01:19:32,060 --> 01:19:34,051 Open it. 661 01:19:57,780 --> 01:19:59,179 [AMALIO WHISTLES] 662 01:19:59,380 --> 01:20:01,371 [ALARM] 663 01:20:05,260 --> 01:20:10,289 Hello, uncle? It wasn't me, it was him! 664 01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:12,571 You dickhead! 665 01:20:12,780 --> 01:20:15,374 You idiots! Dumbasses! 666 01:20:16,380 --> 01:20:19,577 No, stop! Don't panic. Empty the safe. 667 01:20:19,780 --> 01:20:23,375 You have 25 seconds before the police gets there. 668 01:20:23,580 --> 01:20:27,813 We have 20 seconds! Take it all! The bags! 669 01:20:30,460 --> 01:20:32,451 What do I pick? 670 01:20:46,140 --> 01:20:50,293 The police is coming! Go! Go! They'll catch us! 671 01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,491 Here. 672 01:21:14,940 --> 01:21:17,932 - We're safe! - Watch out! 673 01:21:20,060 --> 01:21:22,336 Here they are! Let's go! 674 01:21:22,540 --> 01:21:25,453 Go go go! 675 01:21:29,460 --> 01:21:32,452 - Which way? - Here! 676 01:21:43,340 --> 01:21:48,619 - The police is here! - What happened? 677 01:21:48,820 --> 01:21:53,371 - The must be looking for somebody. - Maybe there's been a theft. 678 01:21:53,580 --> 01:21:56,538 My young ladies, how's it going? 679 01:21:56,740 --> 01:21:59,771 Let's go have fun at the disco. 680 01:21:59,852 --> 01:22:02,709 We'll find ourselves four machos and get split in half. 681 01:22:02,790 --> 01:22:04,768 I'm coming. 682 01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:08,240 I know you like it, you panty-ripper! 683 01:22:13,420 --> 01:22:16,617 It's been an exceptional show. 684 01:22:16,820 --> 01:22:21,815 Baron! Do you remember me? We met in Paris. 685 01:22:30,100 --> 01:22:35,174 - Hey babe, your place or my place? - I don't know you! Go away! 686 01:22:35,380 --> 01:22:38,532 - It's all right. - Are we going to the disco? 687 01:22:38,740 --> 01:22:40,731 - Fuck off! 688 01:22:40,940 --> 01:22:44,012 The gran--- the lady fell down. 689 01:22:44,220 --> 01:22:46,939 Poor thing, she fell. 690 01:22:47,140 --> 01:22:50,656 - Pick her up. - You'll be fine. 691 01:22:50,860 --> 01:22:54,535 - Thank you, dear. - Goodbye, officer. 692 01:22:57,340 --> 01:23:02,096 - Et voilà, Le chauffeur! - Truffle guy is here. 693 01:23:02,300 --> 01:23:05,975 - Let's get on the Rolls. - Answer the radio. 694 01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:12,459 - Thank you. - Watch you dress. - Fuck off! 695 01:23:12,660 --> 01:23:16,972 Officer, the door. "Merci, Le gendarme." 696 01:23:17,180 --> 01:23:19,171 Goodbye. 697 01:23:23,660 --> 01:23:25,651 Cheers! Congrats! 698 01:23:26,540 --> 01:23:32,730 My dear nephews, congratulations for your brilliant achievement. 699 01:23:32,940 --> 01:23:38,333 Between our existing assets, and Van Cliff's loot... 700 01:23:38,540 --> 01:23:42,420 ... the total profits for the year will be around 6 billion. 701 01:23:44,300 --> 01:23:48,339 Obviously, three are for me and one billion each for you. 702 01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:57,090 - It's still a billion per capita! - Yes, but... I'm sorry, uncle... 703 01:23:57,300 --> 01:24:02,136 When can we start getting... 704 01:24:02,340 --> 01:24:07,335 Immediately, even tomorrow. As soon as my fence brings me the money. 705 01:24:07,540 --> 01:24:13,377 Go to sleep, everybody. Good night. Good night, my dear. Good night. 706 01:24:13,580 --> 01:24:17,096 Good night. Aren't you going to sleep? 707 01:24:17,300 --> 01:24:22,010 I wanted to ask you something, But I don't know how... 708 01:24:22,220 --> 01:24:26,930 - Don't touch my chair! - I wanted to ask... Now, can I... 709 01:24:27,140 --> 01:24:32,738 - I don't understand. - We pulled the heist, right? 710 01:24:32,940 --> 01:24:38,538 - It went well, right? I got married. - Yes. - But I still need to consummate! 711 01:24:38,740 --> 01:24:44,736 You're right. Go ahead and consummate. Take the champagne. Good night. 712 01:24:50,940 --> 01:24:54,092 Listen... Is your name really Nero? 713 01:24:54,300 --> 01:24:59,295 - It's my last name. My name is Franco. - Franco Nero? 714 01:25:05,780 --> 01:25:08,852 Honey? Honey-pie? 715 01:25:09,060 --> 01:25:12,052 Kitty? Hello, my pickle! 716 01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,731 My love? 717 01:25:22,300 --> 01:25:24,291 My dickface... ? 718 01:25:25,140 --> 01:25:29,930 - Peekaboo! - Where's my wife? - We had a little threesome. 719 01:25:30,140 --> 01:25:32,780 Show me my wife! 720 01:25:32,980 --> 01:25:39,090 - Listen to what Dalmazio has to say. - We had a great idea. 721 01:25:39,300 --> 01:25:44,249 At the stroke of midnight, when the uncle... 722 01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:50,456 ... and that guy... Nero... - His full name is Franco Nero. 723 01:25:50,660 --> 01:25:52,497 Franco Nero! 724 01:25:52,578 --> 01:25:56,099 - Who gives a shit! - He's my idol! 725 01:25:56,220 --> 01:26:00,691 We get into the safe and we take everything. 726 01:26:00,891 --> 01:26:06,411 - A grand total of... - Six - Six what? - Six billions! 727 01:26:06,492 --> 01:26:09,769 - Two each. - Whose idea was it? - Your wife's. 728 01:26:09,980 --> 01:26:14,770 - She told us to do it. - What a brain! What a genius! 729 01:26:14,980 --> 01:26:20,259 Unlike uncle's: "3 billions to me and one each to you". Take this! 730 01:26:20,460 --> 01:26:23,816 That's so great! Let's have a toast! Yahoo! 731 01:26:24,020 --> 01:26:29,015 I propose a toast to the three richest thieves in Europe. 732 01:26:41,460 --> 01:26:44,452 Who turned on the light? Turn it off! 733 01:26:45,420 --> 01:26:48,970 Remember about the safe at midnight. 734 01:26:49,180 --> 01:26:52,172 What midnight? There's light out! 735 01:26:54,220 --> 01:26:59,215 - It's noon, then. - Yes. Thursday the 5th. 736 01:27:01,340 --> 01:27:05,732 So we slept 4 days and 4 nights in a row! 737 01:27:05,940 --> 01:27:10,332 What was in the champagne? Bitter almonds? 738 01:27:10,540 --> 01:27:14,010 That's why my head hurts! 739 01:27:14,220 --> 01:27:20,296 Anyway, let's not panic. Let's go get our 50% share from uncle... 740 01:27:26,100 --> 01:27:29,297 Oh my god! The bed is missing! 741 01:27:30,300 --> 01:27:34,692 - It's gone. - It can't be. No... 742 01:27:34,900 --> 01:27:36,891 Nooo! 743 01:28:00,420 --> 01:28:03,412 Siraghi? Package for you. 744 01:28:35,020 --> 01:28:41,239 My dear nephews, I bought this yacht with your savings. 745 01:28:41,320 --> 01:28:44,391 I apologize for my sudden departure. 746 01:28:44,472 --> 01:28:46,419 - That cuckold! - No! 747 01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:48,969 You're the cuckold. 748 01:28:49,980 --> 01:28:51,971 Darling? 749 01:28:55,140 --> 01:28:57,609 Come, my love. 750 01:28:58,909 --> 01:29:01,549 Send our friends a kiss. 751 01:29:03,219 --> 01:29:06,849 Don't worry Egisto, she's not your wife. The wedding was fake... 752 01:29:06,930 --> 01:29:09,729 ... the priest was a former convict, a friend of mine. 753 01:29:10,420 --> 01:29:16,052 - Old friendships come in handy sometimes. - Fuck! 754 01:29:16,260 --> 01:29:22,097 Anyway, I won't leave you completely empty-handed... 755 01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:28,319 ... I'll tell you the last rule of a perfect criminal. 756 01:29:28,400 --> 01:29:30,459 Never trust anybody. 757 01:29:30,540 --> 01:29:33,845 Not even, and most of all, your own uncle. 758 01:29:34,003 --> 01:29:39,396 I'm not even your real uncle, and I've never been paralyzed. 759 01:29:40,879 --> 01:29:42,870 Farewell, nephews! 760 01:30:05,740 --> 01:30:08,732 [INDISTINCT VOICES] 761 01:30:28,420 --> 01:30:33,813 (TV) Celebrating the new world champions... 762 01:30:36,220 --> 01:30:39,988 Aliprando, I kind of feel bad about your nephews. 763 01:30:40,069 --> 01:30:41,739 Why? 764 01:30:41,860 --> 01:30:46,298 Poor devils, when I took them in, they had nothing. 765 01:30:46,379 --> 01:30:49,815 They could never amount to anything good anyway. 766 01:30:51,620 --> 01:30:54,817 - What's up? - Wait. 767 01:30:58,180 --> 01:31:01,377 Isn't that Dalmazio? 768 01:31:01,580 --> 01:31:05,858 Egisto! Amalio! It's them! 769 01:31:06,060 --> 01:31:11,009 (TV) What? they grabbed Maradona, who fell down with the cup. 770 01:31:11,220 --> 01:31:15,498 - There's a big commotion... - The cup! 771 01:31:15,700 --> 01:31:18,089 (TV) They're stealing it! They're thieves! 772 01:31:18,300 --> 01:31:21,292 World champions! Well done!